The Magic of Asking Questions
Hi, what’s you name?
I am Jacob, it’s my pleasure to meet you!
How are you doing?
I am seriously asking, what’s on your heart?
What’s something you feel passionate about lately?
Can I help you?
Why are you smiling? Do I look funny or we just got infected the smiling virus :D
I love the magic that stays within and behind asking questions.
Not always the most meaningful like, what’s the weather like today?
Because I can check it myself.
But even tweaking it a little into the direction: What cool can we do in that new weather?
When the questions are touching our desires, our nature of who we are or who we want to be - that’s the fun part when they start getting interesting and grab our whole undivided uttention.
Especially the question which is probably still somewhere in my head like a bit of a burden?
Noooo, not a burden, let’s call it a friend that is a bit complex yet we just know from the bottom of our hearts that we will get along with each other and it’s going to be such a great friendship!
This one question.
Who do I want to be?
If I state it a bit differently - who do you want to be? I can maybe sense the shivers or at least a few nerves on your head dancing trying to compose a coheren with your values answer.
The questions play immense role in our lives impacting our decision making, relationships or the way we are perceiving the world.
Imagine we took everything just the way it is, not asking out of the stand of curiosity, not judgment! What’s about that whole world around me? Does this make sense? Do I want to do this? Is the pleasure, or pain of this decision worth going with it?
And it goes on and goes on
The questions touch 3 dimensions that I categorize them into.
- Questions that help us build relationships.
- Questions that help us understand oneself.
- Questions that help us interect with the world around.
Or just simply questions. It depends on your proficiency in how you use them, and I think as well the courage to do so. I think we have some questions we would like to ask the world, but either the answer feels to painful to hear or we feel judged and it stops us? Mhmmm. That’s a genuine question, why don’t we ask more questions? Or why don’t we ask if we know this is going to help us or someone else to move forward.
Okay, let’s write some stories here.
Connecting with questions
I am a chit chat person.
Was I always this way? Mhhhhm, yeeep. School was hard on me, I didn’t find it joyful to get along with most of my peers, I felt pressured to do so and it stopped each time.
I needed the connections to be a bit more genuine.
So I started be picky and started exploring.
I started talking with everyone around me, other classes, all the teachers, headmasters, janitors, any school staff and it went all beyond over the years to talk with whomever just out of curiosity, and maybe sparking something great - like a smile on their faces that will go a long way.
What kind of people do you like to surround yourself?
That’s a questions you can ask yourself before starting even the smallest interacting with others.
I think: curious, interesting, adventurous and self-confident in their own desires and dreams.
And here is a hook, to know someone, you have to take the guard down and ask questions, because how would you know if a person is all this if you don’t try to connect with them on a deeper level.
The shallow questions, what I recognize mostly in the American culture “How are you doing?” is unappreciated. I feel it is a bit shallow, and most of the people just do it out of habit/customs whatever.
There is magic if you put a bit of this spark, love into that question and get a genuine conversation out of just asking.
How has your life been lately?
What’s something that helps you wake up early mornings?
What’s up with that smile, I love it on you!
A bit of a compliment works to spark even more joy into that talk you have with someone. Being genuine here makes it all fun and true. :)
So please ask questions, you will as well become more interesting person yourself for those who you ask something, but as well you will get to know more perspectives and ways to live. You will better yourself at the end.
Understanding oneself a bit more
That’s a lovely topic.
I will start with a statemant. I think it’s a shame that some of us don’t go through the time alone, or with friends, that they talk LOADS about self-improvement, developing emotions, learning how to storytell, growing those bits and pieces inside of them that will help to be a better human.
Since the age of 10 I spent most of my afternoons watching YouTube videos or reading articles, on emotional intelligence, relationships, general “self - improment” because i wanted to get things done, find purpose in my life and without any restraints feel happy about who I am and who I am becoming.
That’s the time I started asking myself questions.
What do I want from life?
Is it truly me in this chapter, or just a person who was conditioned because of the outer world? - that’s quite not polished questions, yet I hope you get the grasp of it.
I am truly the person I feel I need to become?
How to do this? Whatever that “this” was :D
I started to be a lifelong game of researching, understanding, getting deeper and repolishing the questions in my life.
If I were to recommended a book that has shaped me lately and I think everyone should read it.
It’s a lovely piece about the questions and motives in our lives.
“101 essays that will change the way you think”
sweet heavens go read it please. <3
Interacting with the world and evolving
The world around us, I reckon - is the same for everyone.
Maybe not always we are going to have the same choices, yet the world stays the same - just the perspective shifts.
And I put so much love in understanding and stating that we have a power over the perspective on that world.
We have power over the way we perceive things and how we allow them to influence us.
It’s not only separated into those two categories, positively and negatively.
Yet into long term results, what emotions certain actions involve, how we are going to grow by something, is it something we learned from our parents or is it actually how it feels and looks.
Being programmed into the world through eyes of our parents makes us prisoners to their vision only. There is so beauty in the world that we can derive our strengths from and make it our own, our original, snapping into the new being we are becoming.
I want you to be a bit skeptical, ask questions, be fierce in loving and compassionate in saying “i forgive you yet i feel it was right we parted our ways”, be kind to your thoughts and emotions arising within and acknowledge them fully.
Because why not?
Why shall we stay and never change?
Why shall we be and not become? Or is sometimes better to just be?
Why shall we let others dictate what we feel and what thoughts we think?
If you see a tree, find out what kind of tree it is, what origins it has, why does it grow, how does it grows, what nourshises it, what animals depend on it, how tall, where does it grow, would you like to be a like this tree?
Look for metaphors, look for power within simplicity.
Be curious.
Don’t judge. Even if it’s your first feeling.
Or maybe do. Find out.
Find out what’s all about this life.
What’s there to be curious about and if it’s all worth finding out. You will not know until you try and give it a chance. I got to tell you.
It’s all worth it.
If I had to leave you with one things from this letter it is:
There is less pain in asking the questions, than in regretting you didn’t have a courage to ask them. Stay curious friend.